EDDIE: Darling, why don't you come home?

SAFFRON: What's the problem? I have my life, you have yours. This is what you wanted.

EDDIE: Because I feel orphaned, you know?

SAFFRON: What's the matter, has the deal fallen through?

EDDIE: Not the deal, not the deal.....it's just......

SAFFRON: What?!

EDDIE: Well darling, you just sort of... you've just sort of abandoned me in this sort of wilderness of potential greatness and fabulousness, haven't you, darling? You know, and all my walls have gone flop, flop, flop, flop. And now I'm just kind of like this kind of prisoner, this released prisoner, darling, walking out into the squinting sun . . .

(Patsy re-enters, singing.)

PATSY: . . . and the hissing of summer lawns . . .

EDDIE: You cast me adrift with no oars, sweetie.

SAFFRON: You've got oars.

EDDIE: I haven't!!!

SAFFRON: You have!!! You're just too lazy and fat to use them!

Now that's a dysfunctional family!

Last night on the TV series " Alias " Joni popped up again. A few months back they used the song "River" as the backdrop to a scene. Last night a very " by-the-book" CIA operative was sitting at a computer terminal wearing headphones and weeping, another operative who was sweet on her shyly got her attention and offered a tissue. As she removed her headphones he asked if she was O.K. Flustered, she hesitantly replied, "I'm listening to Joni Mitchell ... please don't tell anyone." The conversation continued breifly and the scene ended with her saying, "Joni always makes me feel so fatalistic." The episode's title was "Apocalypse Later."

Greg also let us know about this one. Thanks, guys!

This is one: Episode number: 45. "Love Illusions" #2M22 [AM222] (aired May 17, 1999) Written by: David E. Kelley Directed by: Allan Arkush

(this one's where Billy & Georgia do it in that pop. WC and Richard & Ling get laid for first time) Ally & John are defending one woman accusied by her husband of fraud , 'cause she confesses to her pc diary to his imagined, long time friend that there never wasn't any passion in her marriage. Well, this makes Ally questioning again if there aren't true loves... she remembers her childhood, her parents arguing in anger (I suppose this is a redundance, sorry)... Then we hear:

Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun They rain and snow on everyone So many things I would have done But clouds got in my way I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow It's cloud illusions I recall I really don't know clouds at all

--------------------------Performed by Vonda Shepard (sp?) ( I guess*she* didn't release it)

Obviously, after winning the absolution for her client, episode ends Ally walking home hearing:

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancing way you feel As ev'ry fairy tale comes real I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show You leave 'em laughing when you go And if you care, don't let them know Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take, and still somehow It's love's illusions I recall I really don't know love at all

Others have said that they are sure they've heard other Joni songs or mentions during this show's long run, but we need the details. If you remember any Joni references on Ally McBeal, please let us know!

I realize its barely Joni content and may seem like a crackpot idea, but here it goes....I've always thought that Joni had an influence on the "Johnny Bravo" episode. In an early scene in that show, Greg was shown playing/singing in the boys room (with the groovy bunk beds). His "original" song, if I remember right, had lines about painted ponies on a merry-go-round....... very Circle Gamish!!!! Does anyone remember that episode better than me and can prove or disprove my theory?

And Chicago, IL's Susan responds with:

OK Bill ... being the Joni Freak I am and a Brady Bunch afficionado - I will respond to your question. YES! YES ! YES! How obvious is it that Greg Brady ripped Joni off!? Hey Greg - if the suit fits - wear it! I remember that episode quite clearly and have had that thought cross my mind every time I see it.
Another line from the song was "Clowns never laughed before" - well not until they heard this song. Also not sure about the exact line you mention being verbatem, but it does ring of Joni Brady's Circle-ish Game-ish writing. ;)

This really is nothing, but if anyone saw Canadian Idol last night, they had Lionel Ritchie on, and they were showing these clips of his achievements and they had this shot of I am sure it was Joni presenting him the Grammy for album of the year for 1983. She was all permed and dolled up in what looked like a pink outfit. As I said, it was like 4 seconds, but it was funny to see it nonetheless.

On Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer's series Catterick on BBC-4, they played a Joni song I can't identify, but Tess (Morwenna Banks) was miming to it. It seemed to be about death and one of the lines was 'I see the people leaning on their spades'. It had an orchestral backing, so I assume it was from Travelogue. What was the song?

Stuart from Scotland had the following clarification:

aA Joni Mitchell song - Sire of Sorrow,/i> - features in BBC Three's brilliant surreal comedy Vic and Bob in Catterick.

Here's the link for the programme - http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/catterick.shtml

Each episode features at least one scene with a character lip-synching to a song. Morwenna Banks as Tess sings Sire of Sorrow, but rather than a song to God, it is in the context of her relationship with her horrible, penisless hotel manager partner, Mr Oates (Matt Lucas).

Dr. Diane Grad goes to Africa to help children. Her boyfriend Billy Kronk follows her, and during a surgery, Dr. Grad sings A Case Of You. He calls it "chick music." Yet when he leaves her, Joni's version of this song is playing.

Today I was at a friend's house who has cable t.v. (I'm too cheap to order cable myself), and I caught the tail end of a show on the Discovery Channel. It was a design/decorating show - I think it was called "Design by Surprise." They were designing a room into a music room, making lamps out of saxophones, window shades with music notes, etc.etc....... They also took some record album covers and framed them. One of the album covers was our beloved "Don Juan's Reckless Daughter." I was pretty excited to see this! Other framed album covers were from artists like Bruce Springsteen, The Police, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, and Eric Clapton.

Many thanks for the details and pictures from the recent NYC shows. I enjoyed them all.

Today on his show, Dr. Phil quoted from "Big Yellow Taxi." He was admonishing some young fool who cheated reapeated on his lovely young wife. She was undecided as to whether to keep him. He told him "It's like the song, you don't know what you got till it's gone."

There was a Joni mention was on Episode 78 from the 4th Season of Ellen in an episode called Ellen Unplugged. The episode involves Ellen going to music camp and when Ellen meets guest star David Crosby, she doesn't believe it's really him, and introduces herself and her friends by saying, "Yeah, and I'm Joni Mitchell and this is Peter, Paul and Mary."

Queen Latifah, Aaron Neville, Bonnie Raitt and Cheryl Crow also guest star in this episode.

Joni doesn't usually get a mention on British TV though I do remember a reference to Big Yellow Taxi on 'Emmerdale' of all things!

Do you have any more information about this? Let us know.

At the end of ER tonight they played "River" in its entirety... not Joni's version but what a treat.

One of the nurses replied, "Joni Mitchell."

Dr. Mark Greene said, "I hate that song."

Interesting piece of trivia I learned this week - Joni's Twisted was used as the theme song for Frasier's pilot episode. Once the show was picked up, they had to find another tune b/c they couldn't afford 'Twisted'.

My wife has watched GH for over 30 years, I think. Yesterday, after Luke and Laura got remarried (again ? I dunno), they walked to the idyllic gazebo to At Last (Joni's cover), which continued to be played throughout as the scene shifted back and forth from the reception to the tete a tete.

Another tip of the hat to Joni, IMO.

And then Kevin reported:

Joni's version of "At Last" was prominently featured on General Hospital during Luke and Laura's 25th anniversary "Re-wedding." They nearly played the whole song while the famed lovers danced their first dance...

"I rented Girl Thing this weekend. It was a 4-part miniseries from Showtime. They play A Case of You from BSN during a VERY HOT HOT Love scene between Kate Capshaw and Elle McPherson. My glasses were fogging up and I wasn't wearing them. I got shivers down my spine as the two made such passionate love while ACOY played. The song fit this scene so well.

"They played Chaka's Stronger Than Before (which I love during a slow dance scene between Kate and Elle. Then you hear part of ACOY again during a scene when Elle is contemplating her newly found sexuality.

"Lots of stars in this movie, and I enjoyed all 4 hours of it!"

The show was written and directed by Jean-Luc Godard, director of the classic films Breathless and Masculin, féminin. This production featured the music of Joni, Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan, with a cast that included Jean-Pierre Léaud (The 400 Blows, Stolen Kisses), Jean-Pierre Mocky, Nathalie Richard and Marie Valera.

The IMDB is skimpy on the details for this one, so that's pretty much all we know. Are you familiar with this show? If so, please tell us everything you know about it maintenant!

I've got another Joni in Fiction reference for you from, of all places, the Nickelodeon cartoon Hey, Arnold! In this episode, Arnold and his best friend decide to play hookey from school for the day. As fate would have it, everywhere they go they run into someone they know. Finally, they duck into a used clothing shop, where they buy baggy old coats and hats as disguises. Arnold's best friend turns to him and says, "This is great! We'll be like free men in Paris--unfettered and alive!" Arnold replies with a very perplexed, "What are you talking about?" And his friend shrugs, "I don't know--I heard it on an old hippie record."

I don't know whether this has been posted before or not but it did make me laugh. I'm Alan Partridge is a U.K. TV programme, a spoof about the hopeless, eponymous Radio/T.V. presenter.

Episode 1: A Room With An Alan

[Radio Norwich. Alan sits behind the mixing desks in the radio studio, wearing a Pringle sweater.]

Alan Partridge: That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they paved paradise to put up a parking lot, a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song. It's 4:35 AM, you're listening to Up With The Partridge.

Hi to all! Did anyone but me catch Jeopardy! this evening (Wednesday, May 14, 2004) to see the category on "Women With Guitars" or "Girls...." or something like that? The answer was, "She taught herself to play guitar from an instruction manual." The question was: (of course) "Who is Joni Mitchell?"

Yes; one contestant (a guy) answered correctly.

Hey, Joni made Jeopardy again with the usual clue, "This Joni Mitchell song says 'they paved paradise"

A contestant got it right.

I'm dreaming of getting a JM question for the $1 Milllion question on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. On my bad nights, I get it wrong ;~) I;m in a slump.

Hey Julia Roberts is on Oprah, pregnant with twins and says she is "playing Joni Mitchell and Dave Matthews to the kids to get them started." Sweet, eh?

Tarantino tells Conan O'Brien about an up-and-coming Muppets version of The Wizard of Oz, and he talks about his favorite puppets, one of which (and I didn't catch the name) he described as "Joni Mitchell-looking." He proceeded to do some funky and idiotic impression by waving his head stupidly about. I was excited and rushed immediately to the computer to report it to JMDL.

Thanks, Andy!

Dave said, "Blood and Peanut Butter, my favorite Joni Mitchell album."

It came after the opening monologue, when Dave was seated at his desk. He brought up the subject of Jones Beach and asked Paul Schaefer if he had any idea how many people visit the beach every year. Paul made a few guesses, the Dave told him he was wrong and that 8 million people go to Jones beach every year. Paul then said something about Joni . . . but what it was, we may never know!

Rose reports that Paul said that that's how many people attend a Joni concert, but Bryan thinks Paul said something like, "8 million, as many people as in Joni Mitchell's band."

If you've got the facts, don't hold back! Let us know.

According to contributor Brian Derrick, the audience hissed!

By the way, number one of the "Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear in a NYC Taxi" was "Next stop, Kandahar."

Paul responded that he was thinking of the Yardbirds (Heart Full of Soul) to which Letterman just laughed and shrugged.

My Family (2002) its about the antics of a late middle age couple and 3 kids, starring Robert Lindsay (Hornblower) and Zoe Wanamaker (daughter of Sam).

Its a 1/2 hour BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) sitcom, complete with canned laughter, but very funny.

So the kids are away for weekend and the adults have the house to themselves...so they have sex...lasts 5 mins (can I mention all this stuff??)...you don't see any of this, its just implied.

So then they realise they are alone and have to do things together...husband (a dentist) ...wants just to read the newspaper...while dizzy wife (London tourist guide) wants to do stuff...outdoor stuff. They get into a bit of a disagreement...which leads to this...the couple are in the sitting/living room:

WIFE:That's rich! From a man who stores his CD's in alphabetical order!

HUSBAND: So, I don't waste time looking for them!

WIFE: Don't you want the thrill of browsing along the shelves and coming across something unexpected?

HUSBAND: No!!...not when its one of your bloody Joni Mitchell albums!

WIFE: I Love Joni Mitchell.

(Husband points at bottom of CD shelf)

HUSBAND: I made a special section here for your (Joni Mitchell) albums at the end of the alphabet, so I don't have to look at them, but they always seem to end up in MY section.

WIFE: Is that not part of being married?

HUSBAND: Yes the annoying part!

WIFE: Remember when we first merged our record collection?

Here's one for you - I just started watching the show Nip/Tuck on dvd, and one of the episodes had a Joni reference. A lesbian character was talking about her experience with a man years before the conversation which was taking place. She said the man had long hair, and she just closed her eyes and pretended he was Joni Mitchell.

Since the show involves plastic surgeons, maybe they will use Happiness is the Best Facelift sometime.

They've just released the first season of Northern Exposure on DVD and I was surprised to revisit an old episode called "Dreams, Schemes and Putting Greens" (I believe that's the right episode) and Maggie and Joel have a confrontation over some land that was willed to them - Joel wants a golf course...and I believe it's Maggie that starts reading/quoting him Chief Seattle's "letter" (for lack of a better word). Interesting....and especially considering the title of the episode...

Later Gary added:

Now that I look at the episode guide, I'm thinking the "Chief Seattle" reference appeared in the "Soapy Sanderson" episode and NOT the "Dreams, Schemes and Putting Greens" episode. But it sure seemed like a great connection! I guess I COULD just pull out the DVDs before I get carried away writing. Sorry about the confusion.

In an episode which aired on May 15, 2002, Natalie Imbruglia covered Pineapple Head by Crowded House, and was then interviewed by Dermot O'Leary, the show's host:

O'LEARY: Why Crowded House and that song in particular?

IMBRUGLIA: I just love Crowded House and they do great songs to sing along to. I just love them. Even if the song is quite bright and uplifting, it's usually quite emotional lyrics.

O'LEARY: And what about your contemporaries? Is there anyone else you would have like to have covered? Anyone else you considered?

IMBRUGLIA: Um..I like Joni Mitchell. But it would have been scary to tackle one of her songs 'cause she's so amazing. But, um, REM! They're pretty cool! U2 maybe.

Imagine my surprise when Joni was mentioned as I watched HGTV's coverage of the Rose Parade on New Years Day. In describing the floats one of the three anchors said that the designer of the float, Judy Mitchell, was also a passenger on the float. Another of the anchors promptly interrupted and said you must be thinking of Joni Mitchell, Judy Miller is the designer and passenger on the float. I guess next year they will probably have a float with a BYT theme and have Joni on board with her guitar singing the song over and over again... ( Sounds a bit like an episode of "The Twilight Zone !!!) ...as if.

Had to watch SNL tonight, new season, John Mayer musical guest, etc. Then, as a bonus, in the final sketch about telemarketers making their last calls ever, Jack Black and the "marketeers" break into Big Yellow Taxi.

The morning after a party at her Aunt Sarah's Topanga Canyon house, Claire finds her cooking belgian waffles and listening to "Woodstock."

Later, Claire sees another side of her mother, when she sees her singing along to the tape which was given to her by her Aunt... [song continues over end credits].

Now Naomi sits up there, the critic . . .

"Strangers with Candy" is a (hilarious) show that aired on Comedy Central in the late 1990's. It's about a 46 year old high school freshman - Jerri Blank - who after years of drugs, alcohol, and random sex returns to school, "Flatpoint High," to pick up her life "exactly where [she] left off." In the first season's episode "Feather in the Storm," when Jerri's either at home, in the school cafeteria, or in the school bathroom, a song plays on the radio explaining Jerri's problems. This song is a parody of Joni's "Songs to Aging Children Come." Notice the reference to "ice cream castles" towards the end of the parody."

The lyrics are:

Your problem couldn't be any clearer
no one pays attention to you
You stand alone, holding your chicken
Stew ate your waffles and you're feeling blue
You're off to school now, riding the bus...

You are large and quite obese
Fat fat fat fat, fat fat fat
Oink oink oink...

Tu e grande y muy gordo
gordo gordo, gordo gordo....

Even though she's so very hungry
she eats just like a bird
By a bird, I mean one of the small ones,
not like a pelican who eats a lot

Her problems melt like ice cream castles
leaving puddles of tasty sweet
Her family loves her, Suki tastes delicious
She feels all better now, she can eat

This episode deals (quite irreverently) with eating disorders and Amy's character Jerri Blank is plagued by a popular song that castigates the listener for being fat. The fact that one of the verses has the phrase "ice cream castles" is yet another nudge. Read more at jerriblank.com

Colbert was advocating preventing forest fires by cutting down all the trees and putting up parking lots. "What about the trees? Put 'em in a treemuseum, and charge the people a dollar and a half just to see 'em. Thank you Joni Mitchell for the great advice!"

And Carly chimed in with this:

Joni Mitchell was talked about on The Colbert Report last night, (being July 11th 2006), and although that isn't fiction technically, it made me look up fast and write a note to myself to post on this. Steven said that trees were flamable, and so it'd be easier if all the trees were replaced with parking lots, then he said "pave paradise and put up parking lots," clearly using a reference to Joni Mitchell's song "Big Yellow Taxi."

Joni lives.

On a story about men cheating on the Today Show they played Both Sides Now, which proves they have no idea what the song is about. BUT the interesting thing is they played the new version with Joni singing.

Later, Richard Flynn suggested that the choice of this song for this particular segment may have been a reference to Love, Actually.

"i'll be home for christmas"

Written by: Richard Kramer
Directed by: Robert Lieberman
Airdate: 12/15/87

Michael and Hope argue about whether their infant's first holiday should be Christmas or Hanukkah. A famous photographer shows interest in Melissa's work.

Paul Sand is Andy Aronson. Danielle Rioux is Melissa at age 12.

Written by: Marshall Herskovitz & Edward Zwick
Directed by: John Pasquin
Airdate: 10/13/87

While preparing for a housewarming, Michael feels pangs of guilt about leading a yuppie existence. Hope and the carpenter flirt with each other.

At the end of the episode everyone piles into Michael and Hope's living room and Circle Game plays in the background.

Written by: Ann Lewis Hamilton
Directed by: Marshall Herskovitz
Airdate: 10/10/89

Melissa and Ellyn turn to video dating in their search for the right man.

In this Episode, while shooting her dating video, Ellyn quotes lyrics from All I Want..."I wanna have fun I wanna shine like the sun".

Mandi Moore was inteviewed by Katie (Couric) this morning. She talked about recording "Help Me" by Joni Mitchell and how much she enjoyed doing it. Katie said, "Joni Mitchell, don't you just love her?" Then Mandi spoke of discovering Joni and how much she liked her.

According to Julius, "He goes on to say how he was gonna play some of it on the show to embarrass her, but that he actually found it pretty good. He said he chose his favorite track to play, that Joni Mitchell song, Carey.

"Hawn went on to tell the story of how she used to sing Carey at bedtime to her son, Wyatt, when he was around 3 years old. And how he had learned all the lyrics and sang along. And how he wanted to know what the lyrics 'Oh, you're a mean old daddy but I like you' meant."

Of Goldie's cover of Carey , Julius says, "She infused it with a bit of a country groove. Not too shabby."

After their performance, Jay Leno asked Louise what it was like growing up with Carole for a mother. Louise talked about traveling through England on a bus with James Taylor and Joni Mitchell, and said that Joni "drew pictures of my sister and me."

"Has anyone noticed the posters and album covers on the walls in some of the pieces in Tracey Takes On? Last night the topic was lying and in the teenage character's bedroom there was a poster from Taming the Tiger.

"In a recent episode where the faded rock star from the 60s character was trying to have a reunion concert, there was a poster of Joni on the dressing room walls that looked like it came from the Hejira period."

Hugo: Very moving. I particularly liked the quote from Johnny Morris.

The Vicar: I think you'll find that was Joni Mitchell.

Hugo: Right. "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone."

Tonight's episode tells the story of the '70s, when the "navel-gazing" singer-songwriter came into his or her own. It features the Grateful Dead; John Lennon; Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young; James Taylor; Carole King; Joni Mitchell; Bill Withers; and Randy Newman.

"Roberta Anderson, composer of a number of songs which were popular during the 60's and 70's, is better known as Joni ..."

Can you guess who that might be? If not, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

[Episode transcript available here.]

As this scene aired, MGVal reports that before she had a chance to respond, "My kids looked up and yelled, 'Joni Mitchell. Mom!'"

In this week's episode, a teenage girl goes missing.  It turns out that she has hidden her pregnancy from friends and family, and the episode ends with her having the baby. During the last scene and credits we are treated to the complete Little Green.

We are introduced to Kevin. They begin junior high, Winnie starts wearing contacts. Wayne keeps saying Winnie is Kevin's girlfriend. He goes off in the cafe and Winnie's brother, Brian, dies in Vietnam. Winnie and Kevin have their first kiss in Harpers Woods.

Both Sides Now is played.

Title: Kodachrome

Miss Shaw is a radical teacher at Kevin's school. She lets them choose their own grade. But the school does not like it, so she leaves. Both Sides now is played.

Title: Mom Wars

Kevin wants to play full contact football at the park after school but his Mom thinks he will get hurt. She ends up trying to take him to buy new clothes after school all the time. Circle Game is played.