Remember when you first heard a Joni Mitchell song and it was like some astral stranger was crawling out of the speakers and wrapping you in a bittersweet embrace? Remember the first time you heard "The Last Time I Saw Richard" or "Rainy Night House" and it was like an emotional revelation? Well, friends, those fond memories will soon be gone, destroyed by none other than Taylor Swift. Yes, America's most famous deer fetus is "circling" the role of Joni Mitchell in a planned biopic of Mitchell, Carly Simon, and Carole King. Which, ugh. Taylor Swift writes fun pop songs and seems like a nice enough young lady, but Joni Mitchell she is not nor will ever be. Why would you cast Taylor Swift when Mia Wasikowska, a proven good actress who bares some resemblance to a young Mitchell, is right there? (Plus she's already played a character named Joni.) Who's going to play Carly Simon, Selena Gomez? Miranda Cosgrove as Carole King? This whole court's outta order! Please let this be like that Taylor Swift in Les Mis thing, a terrible rumor that gets thrown around a lot but ultimately proves untrue. C'mon, guys. Don't this. Don't do it for Joni.