My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
The way he described it
He said I'd be better dead than live
I didn't listen to his jive
I knew all along
That he was all wrong
And I knew that he thought
I was crazy but I'm not
© 1965 Prestige Music
I’m a little looney. Are you crazy? [audience: “Yeah”] He's crazy, are you crazy? There's a sane person in our midst. Unbelievable. [laughs] There’s two sane – three sane people. I think you’re a little crazier than what’s led to be expected, in these times – right?
I’ll tell you a little story. I went to see a shrink one time. This is a true story, and sometimes truth is funnier than fiction. I went to see a shrink and I said to him “Doctor, I’m losing my memory. I think that I am prematurely senile.” He said to me “I think you’ve come to the wrong psychiatrist, but I’ll put you in a group therapy session with six shrinks so you can choose the one you like the best.” So he put me in with six shrinks and an actress, and I sort of went supermarketing for the guy that was to be my guru in this particular field.
So, anyway, the first thing that happened at that meeting was that there was a silence that fell over the room. I presume that happens whenever a new member comes. And to break the silence the head shrink, you might say – the head head shrink – put his monocle up to his eye and, in a German accent, he said “Tell me, Henry. You had, the other night – an interesting dream. The group would be interested to hear it.” Then he leaned back. So Henry leaned forward in his seat and he said “Dr. Grochung, I’ve been coming to you for five years Dr. Grochung, my name is Harry” he said. So I figured what can a shrink with a bad memory do for a person with a bad memory?
[Joni's band starts up again] Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Hold it. Hold it. The school system doesn’t -- What makes you the most crazy? I’m not through yet. [loud applause] What makes you the most crazy? Since that one bombed, this is Take Two. Could somebody volunteer what makes them the most crazy? Don’t be cute. Tell us the truth. [several audience responses are shouted] People make you crazy. Does the school system make you crazy? [mild applause] Does the government make you crazy? [wild applause] Do you think your nose is too big? Are you ashamed of your appendectomy scar? They always airbrush them out of the Playboy centrefolds, if you’re feeling insecure about that, girls. That’s true – it’s true. Well, all I want to say to you at this point, ‘cause we’re all going off to play poker again, is that, uh, I hope you enjoy your craziness, ‘cause it can be a lot of fun.
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